prints, drawings, paintings, web development, blog posts, link to etsy shop
On Anxiety and Panic
Another recent conversation with a friend has inspired me to write this blog. It's not something I like talking about. And it causes anxiety. What is it?
Panic attacks. When you feel like you can't breathe and every time you try to relax, it's like another round of electric shocks going through your body. That's what happens to me regularly before races. Not right before like at the starting line, but at the times that it's most important to be resting -- the night before. And even worse -- the night BEFORE the night before.
The real panic attacks started in 1991 before my first marathon. By 3 a.m. that morning, all my near-nod-offs had been thwarted by extreme anxiety and the feeling that my heart was pounding in my head. I was so desperate, I tried drinking shots of vodka. At THREE A.M! And THAT didn't work either. So I arrived at the starting line of the 1991 Cleveland marathon on no sleep with remnants of alcohol in my blood and extreme anxiety. But, in retrospect, over the years, I learned that sleeping the night before a marathon probably does more damage to your mind than your body. It's the sleep you get TWO nights before that matters.
So what happened? I started racing triathlons in 2001 and didn't lose a single pre-race night of sleep until Ironman Hawaii in 2002. I dodged anxiety right up until the moment it really mattered and then had the worst panic attack of my life. I spent two nights of no sleep in Hawaii which resulted in a vomit-fest during the marathon. You'd think the first thing I would do is go back and re-learn relaxation techniques, but I never got a chance. In 2003, I was hit by a car and took a four-year hiatus. And now that I'm back, my relaxation techniques are so far gone that it feels like I have to start all over from scratch. And training for Ironman, I feel like I don't have the time. But, I need to make the time. It might be the most important time I make. Maybe writing this blog will point me in the right direction. Otherwise, I may never get a chance to go back to Hawaii and have that perfect Ironman race I missed out on.
Another recent conversation with a friend has inspired me to write this blog. It's not something I like talking about. And it causes anxiety. What is it?
tags
archive
- May 2021 (1)
- December 2020 (1)
- September 2018 (1)
- September 2017 (2)
- July 2017 (1)
- June 2017 (3)
- May 2017 (1)
- April 2017 (3)
- January 2017 (2)
- November 2016 (1)
- October 2016 (1)
- August 2016 (2)
- July 2016 (5)
- June 2016 (10)
- April 2016 (1)
- March 2016 (1)
- February 2016 (1)
- January 2016 (2)
- December 2015 (1)
- November 2015 (1)
- September 2015 (2)
- June 2015 (1)
- May 2015 (1)
- April 2015 (1)
- March 2015 (2)
- February 2015 (1)
- January 2015 (1)
- December 2014 (1)
- November 2014 (1)
- October 2014 (2)
- September 2014 (2)
- August 2014 (2)
- July 2014 (2)
- June 2014 (1)
- May 2014 (3)
- April 2014 (1)
- March 2014 (1)
- February 2014 (1)
- January 2014 (2)
- November 2013 (3)
- October 2013 (3)
- September 2013 (2)
- August 2013 (2)
- July 2013 (2)
- May 2013 (2)
- March 2013 (2)
- January 2013 (20)
- December 2012 (17)
- November 2012 (29)
- October 2012 (14)
- September 2012 (1)
- August 2012 (2)
- July 2012 (1)
- June 2012 (3)
- May 2012 (2)
- April 2012 (2)
- March 2012 (4)
- February 2012 (2)
- January 2012 (1)
- December 2011 (3)
- November 2011 (3)
- October 2011 (5)
- September 2011 (2)
- August 2011 (3)
- July 2011 (4)
- June 2011 (6)
- May 2011 (5)
- April 2011 (7)
- March 2011 (6)
- February 2011 (5)
- January 2011 (6)
- December 2010 (3)
- November 2010 (4)
- October 2010 (5)
- September 2010 (9)
- August 2010 (5)
- July 2010 (9)
- June 2010 (4)
- May 2010 (4)
- April 2010 (3)
- March 2010 (2)
- February 2010 (4)
- January 2010 (7)
- December 2009 (3)
- November 2009 (1)
- October 2009 (6)
- September 2009 (4)
- August 2009 (6)
- July 2009 (4)
- June 2009 (13)
- May 2009 (7)
- April 2009 (7)
- March 2009 (10)
Add new comment